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Little Star

The stars go down
to rise upon some other shore,
and bright in Heaven’s jewelled crown,
they shine forever more.
John Luckey McCreery

One of the most exquisite gifts we received in honour of our baby Josephine’s passing was a star. I really mean it. My Uncle Dorn and Auntie Lenore had a star named after her. Because they figured we had enough flowers, and so that when the kids looked up into the sky, they could see her.

So, now and forevermore, there is a little shining star in the heavens named Josephine Pilar. Yes, this makes me cry, but with gratitude as well as sorrow. My beautiful, beautiful baby. My heart aches to be with you.

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Before whom the stars at their posts
shine and rejoice.
When He calls them, they answer, “Here we are!”
shining with joy for their Maker.
Baruch 3: 34

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Signs of Sweetness

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Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal.
St. Thomas Moore

So many signs of tenderness continue to pour in, along with meals and assurances of prayers, as we grieve the sudden loss of our baby Josephine during labour three weeks ago. We are so blessed by these many signs of sweetness. Thank you to everyone who has shown us such generosity and support. God is finding so many ways to say “I love you” to us every day.
Here are pictures of a few:

Two dozen gorgeous pink roses sent to our door from a couple in our parish:
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A single perfect rose left anonymously at her grave:

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A plant for me to take care of, called a Josephine:

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All who have been touched by beauty are touched by sorrow at it’s passing.
Louise Cordana

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Lend me your hope for awhile. A time will come when I will heal, and lend my renewed hope to others.
Eloise Cole

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When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart. You shall see in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Khalil Gibran

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Josephine Pilar, our sweet little star, we are so grateful for you! We will love you forever!

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Dull Ache

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Dull ache
like I’ve fallen flat on face
Grey skies
match my insides

It’s hard to talk
about her today
The pain throbs
in a delicate way
that won’t leave

I’m sitting here
eating Cheerios without cheer
My little ones laugh
and sing
but I don’t feel like doing a thing

Strange day
now that she’s gone away
The neighbourhood seems
empty and odd

Life’s going on
people bustling away
But I’m in this bubble
floating above
feeling lost
without my little love

Grey skies
match my insides
It’s gonna be awhile
till I find colour again
But in the mean time
I’m hoping for rainbows
looking for sun though my tears

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Song of Longing for Little Ones

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United in grief we stand
here with our hearts in our hands
Walk with me pretty please
so I’m not alone
so I’m not alone

Reach through your pain
to touch mine
Let me heal yours
you heal mine

Together we’ll bear
this big weight
holding on tight
to ropes of grace

Let my tears
wash you clean
begin anew
to feel free

Love is strong
oh, so strong
It tramples death
with it’s song

“I am alive
forever alive
In your hearts
you know that’s right”

Our little ones sleep
but in peace
This is the joy
in our grief

Walk not alone
on this path
silently tread
so often before

Let my cry break
the prison of glass
that’s freezing your heart
that’s holding you back

Shout out your grief
let your heart thaw
In the warmth of the sun
things don’t feel so raw

Together we stand
united in grief
Love makes us whole
it makes us complete

Keep up your chin
sparkle a smile
You’ll see your little one
in a little while